Dad’s point of view
My husband Bob wrote a guest post after taking Sam to a party at his brother’s house.
For the first ten months of Sam’s life I didn’t possess many concerns regarding his eating until my mom ruined it for me. Other than feeding the baby the food Jackie told me to feed the baby food wasn’t something in which I was involved. Then one day my mother was at the house, Jackie was out, and my mom was feeding Sam cereal. My mother started in on this concern she had, that Sam wasn’t eating all that he should be eating. Like, “Don’t you feed him baby food from a jar?� And the high-pitched questioning, “You just give him a whole pear ? How can he eat a whole pear?�
I don’t know if it’s a problem with men in my family that they just can’t tolerate people telling them things they don’t want to listen to, or if it’s a problem with the women in my family that they just can’t stop telling people over and over and over again things they don’t feel like hearing. On that particular day one of the two dynamics surfaced and remains with me today.
The irony regarding the day my mom wouldn’t shut up about how Sammy wasn’t eating enough was that Sammy wanted nothing to do with the cereal she was feeding him. He ate a little, but lost interest. While Sammy struggled to get off her lap, swatted the spoon away from his face, and expressed his general discontent my mom hammered away with her concerns. I kept saying, “Mom, this is absurd, look at him, he’s not even hungry, you’re argument isn’t valid. If he couldn’t get enough of that food you’d have a strong point.� But she didn’t stop.
I thought of this discussion again today while at a party at my brother’s house. Jackie was out with some friends and Sammy wouldn’t eat much of anything besides chips and pretzels. He ate a stalk of asparagus and an ear of corn, which I considered a great victory, but nothing else to make a parent proud. While I presented options galore: fruit, cheese, meat, bread, vegetables, he wanted nothing and I felt that odd self consciousness reemerge from that day my mom argued Sammy wasn’t getting enough to eat. It sort of makes me dread when Jackie is out and I’m solely responsible for making sure Sam eats.
self-feeding, baby led weaning, guest post, dad in charge,
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August 1st, 2007 at 9:34 am
Ack - the WORST is when you kid won’t eat when you are around OTHERS. I hate it when that happens, so you aren’t alone.
My son hated, hated the baby food. I gave up and started giving him what we were eating ourselves. I never looked back and he is a pretty good eater now (we eat primarily South Indian in the home and various ethnic when out and about). Of course, my grandma and such were horrified that we would give him curries when he was a baby, but I had to keep a stiff resolve.